I’m having heart surgery

I met with the Cardio Electrician a few weeks ago and learned about the best options for my heart. This condition is quite serious - I think that I was making levity with it to make me feel better? 

Now, it’s not an invasive surgery. It’s not even a major surgery. I got a letter in the mail with more info and while the Cardio Electrician said that I could probably go home afterwards, it looks like I’ll be overnight in the hospital. 

While this is all obviously stressful for me, I can’t help but wonder how M is doing with it all. He seems fine; but that’s not unusual. He’s a pretty calm dude to start with. I’m glad my mom is coming out to be with us during the procedure and recovery - I would hate for him to be alone in the waiting room for 3-6 hours. Yikes. 

I was telling him he should go for ramen with mom (since the place is around the corner from the hospital) and he said ‘I dunno about that’ so he’s clearly thinking about it. 

Since June, it seems that my whole world has been consumed with heart stuff. I never paid attention to it before. Now I check my pulse regularly, I’m routinely tired thanks to the meds, I check my blood pressure more than I ever have in my life. Routines have shifted, exercise has shifted, and mindset has shifted. 

I guess we will see what happens in three weeks.